One of the great secrets of a successful manager is the ability to listen actively. This is done by asking questions, making clarifying statements and summarising what you have heard to show you have actually been listening to what the other person has been saying.
Remember, you have two ears and one mouth so you should be listening twice as much as you talk.
Why Poor Listeners Fail
Poor listeners love the sound of their own voice and have to let other people hear it as well. Sometimes poor listeners also spend their time thinking of some smart arse remark with which to interject rather than listening to the other person. Poor listeners make poor managers. Remember that.
Some people can comprehend much more per minute through reading than through hearing someone talk (at a comparatively slower rate). This is especially true for speed readers. So when someone speaks, it is only natural they tend to zone out since the speaker doesn’t demand their full attention. This “comprehension gap” is another reason why some people are poor listeners. The amount of people actively listening are few and far between, so it doesn’t really take much to differentiate yourself among other managers by being an active listener.
How To Be An Active Listener
Encourage the other person to talk. Nod occassionally to show comprehension but more importantly look at the other person when they are talking to you. Don’t turn your head away or be distracted by a piece of paper. Stay focussed as much as possible.
Some well-placed comments work well in conversations: “That’s interesting. Tell me more”, “Why do you suppose that is?” To be an active listener you need to send the same signal with all of the following:
- the words you use
- your facial expressions
- your tone of voice
Naturally, when you become a good listener (and therefore a better manager) some people will start coming to you more with your problems. This can waste a lot of your time.
Conversation Terminators
Some managers use verbal cues such as “I appreciate you coming in” or “Let me think about that a while” to indicate that a conversation has come to an end for the time being. More subtle ways I’ve witnessed include a manager placing his hand on the telephone to indicate he is about to make a call when you leave. Sometimes when all else fails a bit of direct communication would not be considered rude given that all other signals have been ignored. Both parties should be actively paying attention to tune in to each other’s signals.
At the end of the day being an active listener means you are more aware of what is happening around you, especially with your direct reports, making you a more effective manager.
